Remix Chapter 8: Tatakai Begins

DISCLAIMER: References to features of religions or faith beliefs do not necessarily mean that the authors, Terry Wilson, Matthew Costello, and Yoshitoshi ABe (or anyone else for that matter), take them seriously. All characters featured are new; none appear in either FWL, Doom 3, or Haibane Renmei. Also, don't forget that this is a work of fiction, not prophecy. Past characters created by the other authors are mentioned in this story. Their histories and personalities are modified and filled out by Terry Wilson in ways that the original authors probably do not intend. This means that what is said about these characters is not what fans call "canon", that is, it is not a part of their existence in their own worlds. This story was written by Terry Wilson, who makes no copyright claims against the concepts of the other authors. This work will never be commercially published without the permission of the copyright holders for all three worlds. [Special Notes: Haibane Renmei is not featured in this Chapter; Events are set in the environments of the actual Doom 3 game.]

The transport docks and its three doors open, the lower of which forms the ramp. Two people emerge from it, a younger man in combat armor with a shaved head and an intimidating weapon case, and an older man who's naturally bald, wears a business suit and a very frustrated look. [Author's note: the modern twenty-sixth century business suit is a set of grey coveralls and the necktie has been apparently forgotten, but hey, Swann does have really cool shades!]

Counsellor Elliot Swann, a look of frustration on his face, mutters, "I can't believe it's come to this, I didn't want to come here."

Sergeant Jack Campbell, clearly his friend, responds, "He left you no choice."

"True," the balding lawyer acknowledges, "but this is the last time. I'm tired of running damage control every time he makes a mess."

"Right," sighs Campbell laconically, "you're the 'control' and if that fails, I'm the 'damage'."

Swann responds, "If that's what it takes. Betruger is going to start doing things our way."

After the two depart towards the security checkpoint, a panicked looking young lady emerges from the transport, her loose blonde hair blowing about in the chaotic convection currents of the hangar. She drops her small duffel bag and starts to gather it up.

As she ties it into a bun, the Marine guarding the platform says to her, "You need to get to Marine HQ, report to Sergeant Kelly ASAP."

We know her as Tatakai ... but not like this ... not nervous and fidgety and constantly a minimum of five minutes behind the ball. She nods nervously, embarrassed at being so unprepared for docking.

"They get the trip over with fast, eh?" the Marine offers.

"Faster every time it seems," she mutters as she grabs her bag and heads up the stairs.

At the security checkpoint, she enters a room which has two pads.

The officer on the other side of the window (which is made of an exotic new composite containing, among other things, a transparent aluminum nitrate compound making it nearly as tough as steel) greets her through the audio repeater built into the window, "Welcome to Mars, Marine."

One she recognizes has just scanned her Marine instructor, Sergeant Jack Campbell. From the other she learns the name Elliot Swann. I can't believe I didn't find out his name during the trip, she thinks. I'm not a spy, I keep telling them that!

"I'm gonna need you to step on one of those red squares on the floor for a bioscan," the officer says, "This'll only take a second."

She dutifully complies, stepping on the second pad, catching the faint familiar scent of her Marine instructor still lingering where he stood a few moments earlier.

"Okay, let me get this started," he says.

Suddenly nervous about her scratched transponder, she reaches for it with her right hand, rubbing the skin over it on the right side of her neck as though scratching an itch.

"You're gonna need to hold still, moving around only make the test take longer," he says as the scanners pour over her body. She sees behind her the screen reflected in the window. None of her hidden equipment shows up in the scan, and she breathes a sigh of relief. Scratch is pretty amazing stuff, she thinks.

"Alright, bioscan looks good," he says as it completes, "You're cleared for entry."

Tatakai (as we know her), passes through the second door, officially into Mars City, the oldest of the facilities United Aerospace Corporation built on Mars. She steps back briefly into the chamber to say to the officer, who stares at the screen with a look of awe, "Kelly might not mind, but don't let Sergeant Campbell catch you looking at my scan."

The embarrassed officer closes the image of Tatakai's virtual strip search and smiles sheepishly at her.

After checking in and getting her Personal Data Assistant, she advances down the corridors to Marine Command, which overlooks the hangar's approach lane. On the way, she hears an ominous voice say, "Why, exactly, are you here?"

She emerges into the monorail lobby and looks left to see him, Dr. Malcom Betruger, sitting across from Swann. Campbell stands between them and the window, his back facing her.

"I'm here," answers Swann, "because there seems to be some very serious problems."

"Oh really!?" retorts the scientist, the iris of his right eye seems to have grown over its pupil, "Do I need to remind you of the groundbreaking work that we're doing here?"

"No," answers the Counsellor calmly, "but I've been authorized by the Board to look at everything."

"The Board authorized you?" the insolent scientist scoffs.

Tatakai reflects the thought, The Board, recalling her own hidden agenda.

"Hmm. The Board doesn't know the first thing about science," Dr. Betruger says in arrogance as he turns away from the Counsellor and her, "All they want is something to make them more money, some product." Tatakai notices his whole demeanor says he's up to something. "Don't worry," he assures Swann ironically, "they'll get their product."

Swann, apparently still in the dark on Betruger's purpose, "After how many accidents? Tell me, Dr. Betruger, why are so many workers spooked? Complaining? Requesting transfers off Mars?"

Betruger answers, "They simply cant handle life here. They're exhausted and overworked," then turns back to Counsellor Swann. "If I had a larger, more competent staff and bigger budget even these few accidents, could have been avoided."

"I'm afraid you'll get nothing more until my report is filed with the Board. I will need full access, Dr. Betruger, Delta included," the Counsellor calmly demands, "I wont' have any difficulties doing that, will I?"

Tatakai suddenly notices that Sergeant Campbell is looking right at her. Slightly startled, she offers him a polite wave. Surely he must know that I can hear through the window, she thinks, I hope he's on our side.

"Only if you get lost, Swann," Betruger explains, "Just stay out of my way. Amazing things will happen here soon. You just wait."

Betruger is lost, the secret voice whispers to Tatakai. The question she's about to ask her Saviour is answered as well, Don't worry, sis. I will protect them.

Swann notices how distracted his bodyguard is and (unlike in the game) gives him a nudge in the shoulder, "Let's go."

Tatakai walks slowly past the window, observing as her suitor, and his boss, leave Betruger's Mars City office. Betruger himself turns to a computer station and opens a file to something Tatakai recognizes, the U1 Artifact, nicknamed the Soul Cube. After this, she hurries on her way to Marine Command, lest Sergeant Kelly become suspicious of her true mission.

On the way, she rounds a corner and with the "Kitchen" (actually resembles a Commons) to her right, she decides it would be a good idea to go to the washroom.

As she crouches to do her business, she hears whispers coming from the ventilation grille. She holds out her hand and whispers back, "Saviour's light" and the whispering silences with a breeze she can actually feel over her hand.

Bad idea, the voice in her head sighs, Now they are onto you, and you will have no time at all to prepare before the attack.

Tatakai suddenly stops. It is a most inopprotune moment to get attacked, so she finishes her business and quickly leaves. I need a weapon, she thinks. She recalls the call she got an hour before her transfer.

Flashback: "Your instructor has been assigned as the Counsellor's bodyguard, as usual. The Board is expecting trouble obviously."

"Why do you need me?" she mutters alound from her chair, dressed in her nightclothes. She continues to question the orders mostly because she knows the Director of Systems can't possibly hear her, ten light minutes away from the Marine Training Center. He's on Earth, she's on a space station, and she likes the ability to talk back with impunity. "With Campbell, they have lots of firepower, and I've never seen the guy miss ... what more do you need?"

Hogosho Kurato (a descendent of Juubi and Haifun from a few generations ago) continues, "But we need a Featherwing," he explains. "The Saviour specifically asked for you." The screen goes blank.

Tatakai knows in her heart that he's right. She has her own channel to the Saviour, one that is not limited to the speed of light. She feels Hogosho praying for her in her wings.

After making sure that her hair is secure enough, she walks the final corridor between Marine Communications and Marine Command. The door opens.

"Took your sweet time, Marine?" Sergeant Kelly greets her, then adds, "I can see why."

Sexist jerk, she thinks [Author's note: "I can see why" is not in the original monologue.]

"Another member of the science team's gone missing," he explains, "Since you're the ranking FNG, you get to find him. I want you to check out the old decommissioned comm facility. We heard he might be headed that way. The only way there is the service passage under Mars City."

Tatakai smiles inside herself: that's where she was planning to set up her scratched link with Earth.

"Sir- Sergeant," she corrects herself, "I haven't been issued any gear."

"Pick up some gear at the security checkpoint at the bottom of the elevator," he explains, "I've programmed this sentry to guide you to the maintenance elevator. I hope you follow this sentry better than you've followed orders so far."

"I've studied the base schematics," she protests, "I don't need a robot to guide me by the hand."

The look on his face tells her that arguing was a mistake. Fortunately he seems to overlook it for the moment and tells her, "Oh, when you find him, just bring him back, do not hurt him."

She comes smartly to attention and marches off, trying to look like a smart FNG. She's ahead of the Sentry all the way to the maintenance elevator. She's about to enter it, when she hears the Saviours voice again.

Three nine six, he says.

"What?" she turns to her right. Up a few steps over top of some utility pipes sits a security locker.

She hears it again, Three nine six.

She enters the access code and it unlocks. She lifts the rolling shutter to discover a damaged coolant manifold. The Saviour explains, How it got that way is a mystery to technician who replaced it. It is, however, plainly obvious to her what caused the damage.

Weapons fire.

More specifically, it was caused by a plasma rifle. Not a Series 3, but something more powerful. She also discounts the BFG, thinking, Not that powerful. She notices something behind it: a velcroed canvas "mailbag" as they are affectionately referred to. She guesses it's not the maintenance report because that's sitting on the document shelf above the manifold.

She finds pistol ammunition. She hurriedly puts it in her belt and gets in the elevator. God, what is going on? she thinks.

She makes her way through the sublevel to her destination, carrying the pistol issued to her by Terry Brooks, the security guard at the checkpoint. She longed for the shotgun and PDW ("Machine Gun", but resembles a Fabrique Nationale P90) from the other storage locker.

She's looking for a Jonathan Ishii, but she's also looking for the old control center. She reaches for the door, but as she does so, she hears the Saviour, The attack begins.

Tatakai recoils in fear. She has no idea what to expect, so she draws her weapon before opening the door.

"Huh, no, no," Dr. Ishii says as she enters. "Please, you must let me get this communication out. They must be warned while there is still time."

Tatakai realizes they are on the same side and holsters her handgun. "Sorry, there is no time." She moves to the controls, pressing a couple of keys and popping a maintenance access panel below, pulling out her scratch bottle.

"System's activated. Teleportation in Three ... Two" it is the voice of the computer, a soft female voice.

Tatakai abandons her task, and the bottle of scratch/alcohol as she rises to see a screen labeled "Delta Sector 4". Dr. Malcolm Betruger is standing in front of it, holding the Soul Cube. "Ah, crud," she says.

Dr. Ishii continues, "You don't know what I've seen. You can't possibly understand or comprehend..."

Dr. Betruger steps through the now activated teleportal. [Author's note: This is not depicted in the game, but it is obvious from what you hear later from a character named Ian McCormick in Delta Sector 2a, that this is what is happening.]

Dr. Ishii explains to her quietly, gravely that, "The devil is real. I know ... I built his cage."

A technician in Delta 4 suddenly cries, "I'm getting abnormal readings here."

Ishii gasps, "Oh, God."

The technician's voice again, "This is bad!! I can't hold these levels, we're losing it!"

Tatakai turns to the scientist and grabs him by the shoulders. She urgently says, "God is irrelevant if you don't know the Saviour," she shakes him gently, "Do you know the Saviour??"

"Saviour?" he gasps.

Tatakai turns away, grabbing her radio, waiting for a message to finish, "We have unidentified movement coming from all over the base."

"Dr. Betruger has taken artifact U-1 into the Delta 4 Portal. I say again. Dr. Betruger has taken artifact U-1 into the Delta 4 Portal," she cries urgently, watching people, especially well armed ones, succumbing as ghostly skull-shaped spirits tear their spirits from their bodies.

Then she realizes that it is happening to Dr. Ishii, right next to her. She grabs her scratch bottle from the floor, then grabs his shoulders.

"Call the Saviour," she urges, "His name is-"

He suddenly throws her arms off, and with no pupils in his glowing eyes, swings his arm at her. She blocks the blow and hits him across the face with the scratch bottle, then pushes him against the wall with both hands.

It is a zombie, she realizes. Succumbing far faster to the tiny bit of diluted scratch than anyone ever has before. It collapses at her feet, smoking as its temperature soars past the boiling point of water. Never has she seen anyone's body temperature fluctuate so wildly, dropping to room temperature as his soul was wrenched from his body, and now rising as it sizzles.

The door opens, a Marine with a pistol emerges.

Tatakai says to him, "We need to set up a-"

BANG! The round's impact is distributed about her chest by the armor she's wearing. I was just hit by live ammunition, she realizes as the zombie prepares to fire another round, probably into her head.

She is frozen in her thoughts, unable to comprehend what has just happened to her. She thinks she is in the process of dying, but...

Somehow she sees three posts and a flash. BANG! Her weapon is in her hands and firing at the zombie. She decides to aim for its head. BANG! The sound of its weapon is drowned out as the round goes over her right shoulder into the wall behind her. Her well-trained mind does not allow her body to react, merely filing away the fact that enemy fire was a couple of centimetres away from killing her.

After her third shot hits its head, she realizes that its nervous system must have been transformed. It is far harder to "kill" than any human. It takes three more rounds before Tatakai no longer considers it a credible threat.

Six rounds? she gasps, How do you survive three headshots, even in the twenty sixth century?

Sergeant Kelly is on the radio, "All units, this is Sergeant Kelly. We are under attack by an unknown enemy force. Fall back to Marine HQ to regroup. I say again: fall back to Marine HQ and await further-"

"Sergeant," Tatakai radios, "Dr. Ishii was captured by the enemy ... I had to kill what was left of him. Only those who know the Saviour are immune."

She turns around to see that Dr. Ishii's body has completely vaporized. She realizes that scratch is effective against these creatures and drops the magazine out of her weapon to pour a swig of her bottled scratch over the bullets, then reinserts the clip and chambers a round thus treated. She takes a few seconds to treat the rest of her ammunition as she listens to her radio.

Hell has broken lose. A phrase usually used metaphorically is now quite literal. She knows from Hogosho's briefing where the teleportals lead. She knows from medical reports that only Featherwings and Saviour-spawn are invulnerable to the soul-stealing spirits that have just emerged from the Delta Four hellgate. In a few moments, ninety-seven percent of the population of Mars will be her enemy, and the remaining three percent almost certainly confused and unarmed because the UAC regularly bypasses the relevant human rights laws and discriminates against the openly religious. She is the only Featherwing on the planet.

She sees Ishii's incomplete message on the comm console and reaches underneath with the scratch bottle and hoses the electronics with it. Shen then deletes the long-winded letter and types her brief message for the Board:

"TATAKAI IS HERE"

An interesting codename, she thinks, the Japanese word for "battle."

Upon commanding it to send, it cuts to a video feed of the satellite uplink room, where she painfully watches a zombie strangle the helpless operator. She hammers the console with her fist. Her attempt to realign the transmission dish with Earth is met with the message "REMOTE ACCESS DISABLED".

Her way back to the control centre elevator is blocked by a broken oxygen pipe and the fire it is supporting. The unarmed zombie emerging from the fire drops with one round. Her scratch is working.

Later, she encounters a damaged door. She considers flying across to a catwalk, but that she should still keep secret her wings. She uses a maintenance access bridge to find an alternate route through Energy Processing.

A shotgun.

The short detour to pick up this weapon is irresistible, so she goes for it. To her alarm, the floor drops away. It is a lift to nowhere, she realizes. A nowhere three zombies wait for some sucker like her. She drops the enemies with her scratched pistol. What surprises her, is that the shotgun was actually loaded. It doesn't make much sense as a trap, but she shrugs it off and climbs out of the hole.

Over the next minute, she discovers that zombies have shotguns too. She isn't looking forward to the ones who have plasma rifles.

She passes through a storage area and opens a door next to an emergency medical station. The way to the left, which she knows is just an office, is blocked by a fire from a broken pipe. As she turns right she hears for the first time a cry that will haunt her over and over again for the rest of her life.

The Imp jumps from where the broken pipe, along with several intact ones, passes through the wall ... across the hallway, then into the middle, whence it stands. Tatakai's reflexes take over and she steps up to it as its right hand starts go glow. Her right hand, Tatakai realizes. Tatakai presses the muzzle of her shotgun against the creature's chest and blows it into the fire, where its body disintegrates. Tatakai does not realize that this is only the first of several hundred such creatures she will claim in her lifetime as a soldier in the losing war that is now only four minutes old.

She emerges from Energy Conversion into the lift area behind the security checkpoint. This is the sublevel's logistics area. She hears the lift platform's supporting cables starting to give out as she sees her fourth Imp climb over the railing. She blasts this one into the cavernous storage area below, then gets clear of the crane's falling load.

After the first flight of stairs from the Energy Conversion exit, she sees on the other side of the cavern, a Maintenance Storage area with no obvious means of access. I could just fly there, she thinks. Then she realizes the door is locked anyway, so there's no point.

The security office is guarded by another Imp, which finally gets away a fireball. Tatakai immediately recognizes that this is what damaged the coolant manifold she found just before she descended to the sublevel. Caught at long range, where the shotgun's laughable scatter pattern is useless, Tatakai switches to her pistol and executes the creature.

Once in the security office, she finds Brooks unconscious, holsters her weapon and shakes him.

"Brooks, Brooks," she cries, checking his pulse. He is cold, dead. "They got you too," she sighs.

They got him alright. His body snaps to "life" and it is everything she can do to keep his shotgun from lining up with her head. With no alternative, she deploys her wings for the first time since she arrived on Mars and scratches him with her left alula claw.

The creature warms up immediately, and Tatakai momentarily thinks the scratch might bring Brooks back into his body. Its temperature continues to soar and she watches as it disintegrates into flaming bits.

"Poor fella," she laments, then furls her wings. She finds his console still logged in, and opens the checkpoint area. Then she discovers that she can bring up an access panel and open other areas of the sublevel. Brooks' account has only two areas available to it: the maintenance storage area across the logistics cavern, and the other weapons locker.

Going back into the lift area, where another armed zombie waits for her, she sees that she has indeed unlocked the door to that room. She deploys her wings and flies across (after killing the zombie, of course) and lands hard in front of the door. She goes inside and discovers plasma rifle ammunition and a medical station. She patches herself up, takes the ammo and wonders why there is no plasma rifle. After flying back to the lift operator platform, she heads back to the elevator.

[Author's note: Your PC does not have wings, use your flashlight to look for a tightrope.]

Tatakai emerges into the sublevel's "lobby" to find another Imp dropping out of the ceiling.

"No!" she cries, blasting it with her shotgun, "God, will it ever end! Is everyone lost? Is everyone dead!?"

As she grabs her PDW, another Imp shows up at the door, from where she just came from. She fires a short burst from the rifle, forgetting that it has no scratch. It does hardly any damage to the creature. It is able to fire a fireball, which Tatakai only barely avoids and gets singed as hits the wall behind her. She drops the creature with a single round from her pistol.

She ignores Sergeant Kelly on the radio as he says, "Greenborough, the fact of U-1's existence is highly restricted information ... I don't know how you found out, but watch what you say on the radio from now on!"

She holsters the rifle and goes back to her shotgun. Somehow she barely feels the weight of her weapons and ammunition as she opens the door.

She remembers seeing him in Mars City a few minutes after she arrived. Less than an hour ago. His face is familiar but for the wrinkles, Takaya eyes, and wicked grin, now waits in the elevator to ambush her. Before he can shoot her with his pistol, she blasts him in the chest with her shotgun, then she collapses into the elevator beside him. [Author's note: Natsuki Takaya drew Fruits Basket, she almost never drew pupils.]

As she draws his lids over his eyes, she worries, What if I have to do that to a friend ... to Jack? "God!" she cries aloud, "I'm just not cut out for this, why did you bring me here?"

"Remember who you're talking to, Tatakai," her Saviour answers. "I created you myself. And like it or not, you are cut out for this. Get used to it."

The distinctive sound of the shotgun's action fills the elevator as she chambers the next round. She rises to her feet as the elevator finishes its ascent back into Mars City. Her Marine radio is very quiet now. She assures herself that Kelly must be Saviour spawn if he's lasted this long. It has been only nine minutes since the containment of the Delta 4 portal failed.

99% of the human population on Mars is gone, she realizes. In just nine minutes. What will the final battle on Earth be like? "Be patient," her Saviour assures her, "You will find out." I'll just have to get used to it, she realizes as the elevator opens.

-----------Author's Message------------

I want a positive hit for when you google "doom 3 christian". I did this search mostly by accident and got a lot of "I feel dirty..." and "Doom 3 is occult and satanic..." and "You'll go to hell if you play." (Oh, you will go to Hell if you play, it's the 19th level!!) I thought this was pretty funny:

http://www.doom3portal.com/fanart/displayimage.php?image=doom3_christian_version.jpg

But really? What is so bad about Doom 3? I mean, aside from the fact that the good guys are never mentioned. I mean good guys of course, in the sense of angels vs. demons. Doom 3 has lots of demons, and they vaporize when they die, which is really cool. But Doom 3's good guys number just three: two anodyne Marines (your PC and Jack Campbell) and one lawyer!

Um, yeah ... that's a really attractive formula for Armageddon on Mars. It actually does work, so don't read too much into the sarcasm.

Why not play an angel?? Of course demons in Doom 3 aren't like real demons, which are spiritual creatures you can't normally see, touch, or shoot. You can pray against demons, but as one who's experienced this, I can't say it's as fun as playing Doom 3. Actually, it is not a pleasant experience at all: I give an example in the story above, where Tatakai is in the washroom. Check it out in the game, you can actually hear whispering voices, they are strongest in the last stall (but unlike Tatakai, you can't do anything about them.) You don't want to be in that situation in real life, even if you do know the Saviour (although it is infinitely less unpleasant that way.)

So, if demons in Doom 3 aren't like real demons, what would Doom 3 angels be like? Well... probably the featherwing being is the spitting image of a Doom 3 angel. Both have exotic mystical powers and can do strange things to the human soul. Both lead primarily physical existences on the same plane as humans. The soul stealing spirits in Doom 3 are much more powerful than the scratch poison of the featherwings, and the equivalence is why I made scratch so powerful against the Doom 3 creatures.

I also wanted to show Tatakai in her noob days. The Tatakai that lives in Glie? She's lived and died as a warrior, and is brought back as one. This is all second nature to her. Sure, she still cries when a friend gets wasted, but it would get this early Takakai much worse. She's good at fighting because she's been through training, but it isn't her life, yet. She never gets to enjoy fighting, which is one of the things I love about her. To her it is just a job, even if it is her life and purpose. Even if Tatakai exists to fight, she doesn't want to believe that. She believes that she exists to be in her relationship with God and with others on Earth.

I've projected a lot of myself into this character: I have been through five different churches and have been ripped off by every Christian I've ever given an opportunity to, except one (assuming perhaps incorrectly that he calls himself a Christian.) The beginning of the Cascada song Who Do You Think You Are? (Track 9 of Perfect Day) describes my experience with Christians very well:

Why can I still believe in tomorrow,
When all I have tried was just in vain
Is it worth the fight I couldn't start believing
that those feelings who died could face the pain

The rest of the song does too, but this first verse really does hit the nail. I know that I share this experience of Christians with many others, both those who do and those who do not know the Saviour (that would be Jesus Christ, by the way. But do note that I'm not calling all who know Christ "Christian", nor am I saying that all Christians really know the Saviour.) So I've seen the blind leading the blind, and I've had the blind lead me. I've followed the blind and asked them, "Are you sure you know where you're going?" I've even had them say emphatically that they do, even when it's like 0:28 to 1:07 of this Halo 3 montage:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YC0FEm2U0yg

My experience is not limited to "normal" Christians, like Alliance, Pentecostal, Baptist, United, Anglican, and Catholic ... I've also seen Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons misbehave.

All this negative "Christian" experience is why I avoid using the term, even when I want to refer to the same concepts. Hence, "Saviour" and "saviour-spawn." I don't want the Saviour that I know to be associated with the Jesus Christ that all these churches have constructed in the public mind.

You'll always hear Christians say, "Jesus loves you!" and its obvious that they don't care enough to adapt the message to the audience or explore it in new and exciting ways. All but one ... maybe two of the hundreds of Christians that I have met would cringe in agony and probably even run from the sound of my voice when I put it this way: "The Saviour I know actually gives half a flying f**k about where you are going to spend eternity! That's why he volunteered to be crucified by Romans who really wanted him to suffer." (Yes, he lets me put it that way, even without the asterixes ... and there are no Christians around to argue with me at the time of writing.)

In my opinion, you really haven't experienced the Saviour until you've heard him use the f-word and say things like, "Hey, get used to it," when life throws you curveball after curveball and you're missing your left nut (or ovary) because of a bad pitch. I have had him say stuff like that through the mouths of other people. I don't think she used these exact words, but someone praying for me at Full Gospel Church on 15th Ave SW in Calgary said the Saviour's words in December of 2002: "Terry, I have put you on this earth for shit like this ... get used to it." He was real specific about the first time hurting the worst. This was after the second of those five churches that I got shafted by (Full Gospel is not one of them.)

That's my rant for this month. See you in August :p